TEXAS, TAXES & BRASS TACKS

RUSH LIMBAUGH ONCE DESCRIBED politics as show business for ugly people. If he weren’t such a nice guy, he might have added that it also provides careers for really dumb ones.

Burt Prelutsky
humor columnist

For instance, while chatting with Charlie Rose on “CBS This Morning,” Governor Jerry Brown went into a lengthy pitch for California business, pointing out that it is the state that’s always been known for innovation. To prove his case that it is as true now as it ever was, Brown announced that no less an enterprise than Facebook got its start here on the edge of the Pacific. Not wishing to embarrass a fellow liberal, Mr. Rose didn’t start cackling like a loon, as I might have done. Instead, he politely informed Governor Moonbeam that Mark Zuckerberg and a few college pals launched the billion dollar brainstorm in Cambridge, Massachusetts, while they were attending Harvard.

Because Brown has spent his entire life in politics, he didn’t say, “Whoops!” the way a normal human being would. Instead, without missing a beat, he pointed out that Zuckerberg and his company had settled in California. In other words, we’re not really the home of innovation and entrepreneurship, but we have a terrific climate, and we’re the go-to place for guys who have piled up a lot of dough and want to get away from New England winters.

The sad truth of the matter is that, when compared to other liberal politicians, Jerry Brown is probably one of the brighter ones. For instance, have you ever heard Sen. Barbara Boxer give a speech or try to answer a simple question? I’ve never even voted for the woman, but it’s downright embarrassing just living in the state that has elected her on four separate occasions.

The fact that it is the same state that keeps electing Nancy Pelosi, Henry Waxman and Barbara Lee, to the House might help explain why some people, including friends, call me “Grumpy.”

On the other hand, California is a huge state. We have well over 40 million people jammed in here. It figures we’re going to have more louts than other places. But when you non-Californians keep on voting for the likes of Charles Schumer, Frederica Wilson, Al Franken, James Clyburn, Harry Reid, Bev Perdue, Sheila Jackson Lee, John Kerry and Patty Murray, you’re not exactly in a position to throw stones.

Even Texas, the state that calls to me in my dreams, keeps electing people who wind up proud members of the Congressional Black or Hispanic Caucus, dunderheads who apparently feel a greater allegiance to those who share their skin color than they do to America and the Constitution. The very idea that members of Congress would separate themselves on the basis of their pigmentation makes a mockery of their oath of office. It would seem that for people such as Al Green, Charles Gonzalez, Henry Cuellar. Ruben Hinojosa, Eddie Bernice Johnson, Silvestre Reyes and Sheila Jackson Lee, the notion that ours is supposed to be a colorblind society is their idea of a bad joke.

I have heard, though, that even Democrats on Capitol Hill are getting upset because they aren’t hearing from Obama. Apparently the poor saps expect him to display some leadership. Well, I, for one, don’t blame him for snubbing them. For one thing, he has a campaign to run and a whole lot of money to raise. Besides, how would you prefer spending your time? Meeting with a sourpuss like Harry Reid or hanging out with George Clooney, Selma Hayek and the other cool kids?

Furthermore, when Obama finally put together a budget, it didn’t get a single vote in the House or the Senate. Do those people have any idea how it feels to be dissed that way? You’d have thought that Obama could at least have counted on those knuckleheads in the Black Caucus to give the brother a little love. But even Charley Rangel said, “Ooh, that is one butt ugly budget” or words to that effect.

And while I don’t like to question anyone’s sanity, just how nuts do you have to be to want to raise taxes in the midst of an economy that is already on life support? I suppose when you owe your academic career and just about everything else to affirmative action, it’s not too surprising that Obama seems blissfully unaware of the fact that his idol, FDR, prolonged the Great Depression by twice raising taxes in the 1930s. Getting the country back to work wasn’t nearly as important to Roosevelt as punishing Republican capitalists. Sound familiar?

By this time, you’ve all probably seen the map that shows Obama on the verge of winning the election even before either party has held its convention. Judging by some of the liberal pundits, the actual election is merely a formality. Oh, really? I’m actually supposed to believe that North Carolina and Texas are in play? In spite of electing all those Republicans in Virginia and Florida, in 2010, Democrats are referring to those states as toss-ups? Some folks would call that wishful thinking. I call it whistling past the graveyard.

Speaking of graveyards, Iran’s military chief of staff, Major General Hassan Firouzabadi recently announced, “The Iranian nation is standing for its cause, and that is the full annihilation of Israel.” So much for those who insist on finding a moral equivalence between Israel and its Islamic neighbors or who couch their anti-Semitism behind the canard that it’s not really Jews they hate, it’s Israeli policies they find objectionable. How odd that these same creeps never see a need to explain that it’s not Muslims they hate, but only the policies of Iran, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia and Yemen.

With the election looming up, roughly 150 days off, I don’t want to hear people urging other people to do their civic duty. Those who have to be prodded and poked to get out and vote are nearly always liberals. And, believe me, no good can possibly come of it. For example, in 2008, when 63.6% of registered voters went to the polls, we wound up with Barack Obama and Joe Biden. In 2010, when only 29% of us voted, we got rid of six left-wing senators and 60 liberal members of the House.

The obvious conclusion is that the fewer voters, the better.

Finally, a friend sent me a line I wish I had come up with: Re-electing Obama would be like the Titanic backing up and hitting the iceberg again.

via BurtPrelutsky.com.

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